Help! gender confused in the military (airforce), what do i do?

I'm laying on my bed, i just finished crying, I feel so empty, drained and... just grey. My problem is that i'm in the air force and i can't tell anyone, I can't confide in anyone, i can't even see a shrink about it. If i was to see a psychologist he would be required to report any psychological ailment to my commander. (yall remember the ft hood shooting, well since then there is no privacy when it comes to shrinks) In the air force gender identity disorder is a disqualifying factor so if they found out i would get kicked out of the air force and from what i'm hearing without medical benefits. Right back to where i started, jobless and living with grandparents. I don't know what to do, i'm so depressed and confused. My gender seems to be all i can think about, 24/7, it rules my life, destroys relationships, It's always playing in the background in my head, because of that I can't concentrate so I do poorly in school. Ever since i was 12. Going on almost almost 10 years. it's hell and I don't think it's ever going to stop. well enough venting and on to the real question..sigh.. Is there anybody in anybrach of the armed services or even civilian that can offer advice, coping strategies, that can help me. Is anybody else suffering and maybe found the light, cuz i'm so lost right now.. thank you